Fin.

I've finally reached the end of my college project. I handed in my work yesterday, on time.

While I feel partly relaxed, I think my brain is still whirring from the past two months. It may take a day or two for it to start to slow down a bit. In the meantime, I have some finishing touches to other college assignments to complete, but certainly nothing of the scale of my project.
I'm feeling quite happy with the end result. Ultimately, I know there are areas I could improve, but due to time restrictions, I couldn't continue to reshoot over and over, and I had to take a moment to decide when to stop, and when to get on with the post-production work, with the digital editing, with proofing from the printers, with getting my written work completed.

I feel quite protective at this point of my photographs from this shoot. I expect this feeling will pass, but right now, it's still too recent for me to take criticism, particularly as I know already where my weaknesses are. I rather feel I don't need them poking at with a stick right now. It's a peculiar feeling, and one I hope doesn't become too common. I don't want to become the precious photographer. I suppose though, the difference this time is that this is not an assignment set by college: this was an assignment set by me. And given I've spent two months working hard at this, and I've just handed it in, I almost want to wait for the dust to settle a little and to get a little bit of emotional and mental space between myself and this project.

I know I will feel differently and more relaxed at a not-to-distant future moment, but things are a bit fresh. It's like having a fat day and being told you look fat, or a bad hair day and being told your hair is a mess. I know my weaknesses which will hopefully benefit me as something to improve upon in the future.

I think my strongest shots are those in the bedroom and car. I'm quite proud of them, but there are still areas within those shots that I would like to improve. I'd probably get rid of Colin's wiggling hand in the car. In the bedroom scene, I'd move the pregnancy test kit box to the foreground - someone commented that it looked like my female model was rolling a cigarette. Seems a bit dramatic a scene for a cigarette being rolled, but anyway.

My weakest shot is my street print. The sky is burned out (mostly because it was pretty light and white anyway.... ) and despite digital editing, my only option really was to photoshop in another sky. And that, I felt, was cheating. Two photoshoots were used for this scene, and really, this was the best of the bunch. If I had more time, I probably could have shot this scene again, and again, and again - that would be wonderful. If I didn't have to submit exactly five images, then this would be the scene to get the chop and I would instead submit the other four images.


The lounge scene is perhaps the second weakest - this was a last minute replacement for the original, where Colin's bright red t-shirt made digital editing of skin tones absolutely impossible. Plus, it reflected onto his skin, so he just looked a bit sunburned. When I tried to edit the shots, his t-shirt looked faded. I think in future, I'd be a bit more aware about the colour of people's clothes. I was just too unhappy with the shot I was going to use - I printed it, and it just wasn't working at all. The shot I've used here instead is much better in terms of detail, particularly when viewed on a full size 20x15 print. It's also a bit calmer - there's no bright red blob which demands attention.

The image that seems to fit therefore, into the middle of all this favouritism, is the park scene. Up close, I'm pleased with the colour, lighting and detail. I have one tiny frustration though - Colin's leg. As it's bent under his bottom, he kind of looks like he's amputated from the knee down. I heard someone suggest this about someone else's photograph, and when I looked at my own... well, it's been niggling me ever since!

Overall though, I'm quite pleased with the work I have done over the past few months. I know I've worked hard on this project - and I think I've even surprised myself at how dedicated and passionate I've felt about it. I know there is still room for improvement and things to learn - otherwise this wouldn't be a two year course (I'm still in my first year). It's been tough, but I've found the experience to be exciting. I can't imagine I'll have such creative freedom, time, and access to materials like this very often when I graduate and start working. At this point, I used the opportunity to create my dream project - and I'm so pleased I did that. For the past two months, I've felt quite consumed by this project. And I know what I handed in was my hardest work, and that I have tried my absolute best with this. Whatever mark I get, I know I have earned every single point.

I've learned a lot about myself too. I've learned that planning and time management have benefited me a great deal - certainly I wasn't panicking about how long left I had until my deadline. It's also meant that during the shoots I've had time to have some fun, and enjoy it - to look up from the camera rather than be consumed by worrying. I've become increasingly confident - my last two shoots I think produced the best images because of that confidence. I don't think it was there when I did my first two shoots, and I think that is evident. Given it's my first staged photography shooting project, I think it was bound to be a bit nerve wracking. Hopefully next year, when I have to do a ten-image series, then I'll be able to cut out the first-shoot-nerves.

And so, to a few thanks. I've got to thank Mark and Stew, for letting me invade their flat twice, and fill it with big softboxes and lighting kit. Laura, for trusting me with her bedroom and her keys while she was at a fashion show. Eilidh and James, for being on the ball, keeping me calm and sane and being excellent and responsive assistants.

But my biggest thanks go to my models, Olivia and Colin. Both of them were wonderful - they showed up for each shoot; they were committed to the project from the start; they were extremely agreeable to what I wanted, and neither have had any previous acting or modeling experience. They were both very patient, and made the whole experience a lot of fun. The hardest part was trying to get them to portray an expression other than laughter, simply because they just had the most amusing conversations.

And finally, thanks to everyone who offered me critique, thoughts, ideas, and so on throughout the process when I needed it.